she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
