Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize