my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
