you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
