This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
