just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
