when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His nipple licking is glorious
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