just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
