So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize