What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
that's an acceptable place to lick
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
