Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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