My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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