dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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