Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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