what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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