Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
