i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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