i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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