He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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