My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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