Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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