I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I love you. Go after that dick
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
