i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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