girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Drunk is not a location!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize