I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
