Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
