he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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