That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
