Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
