He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize