never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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