she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
