I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize