i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
