it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
