margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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