My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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