Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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