butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
