Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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