My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
