If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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