I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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