I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
