Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
