I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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