I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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