I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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