That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
