he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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