i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
