my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
