you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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