mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
