There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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