I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
