Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
