Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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