But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
