My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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