i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
