I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
