i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize