Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
