I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
