Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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